I homeschooled my 2 for the past 9 years, they just started public school this fall. So I have to say that it is a lot of stress. Some of your W's anger may just be caused by the stress of that. And it's not like when you work at a job or office, you're not really given much of a break.
It sounds like you somewhat know what you need to do. If you need to eat right, work on that. You said you have no friend/family support system. Sounds like both you and your W could really use that. If you're religious, some churches are great for that. I do community theatre another great way to meet people. Meetup.com has different clubs listed like hiking clubs and stuff like that. Homeschoolers have tons of groups/clubs listed now; just google. I think that would be huge right there if you had that.
I've also had depression. I attended IC for about a year and take AD's. I've learned I do need to eat right, exercise, have some time with friends, or I could go back to being depressed. It's something I'll have to work on the rest of my life maybe. Have you looked into IC and/or ADs? esp. if you are having a stressful period in your marriage, finances, and etc.
Do you and your W have a date night once a week or every 2 weeks? I think that was one of the big mistakes in my M; we didn't do that and I think that would have helped too. I was too focused on the kids in retrospect.
My X is a blamer too. Just try to ignore and work on what you can change. Reread DR and another book I like by the same author is "Change your Life and Everyone in it". Talks about DR principles in re: to not just marriage, but being solution-oriented throughout your life.
