He never says he loves me. He wrote it a couple of times but never tells me.
He is not patient with me. He gets defensive even when I dont blame him and I am honest when I say I dont blame him, I only state some facts such as "when you left us 2 years go". He reacts to that as if I blame him. I can see he is hurting with guilt but I cant help him with that.
He said yesterday he sees our steps as normal steps of reconciliation. I dont know. There is one part of him that showed up last night that I dont like at all. He is cruel. Trying to defend himself, he has no common sense, he wants to put everything away fast but at the same time, his steps to show his love are extremely slow.
I wish he would LISTEN TO ME, JUST LISTEN, I want for once to let all the hurt out to him, cry, complain, cry some more and I want him to listen and hold me and validate me. Anyway, got up worked up today. Checking my finances again, just in case... K
That part sounds exactly like my H and I. He has never said he loved me since his EA almost 5 years ago. It hurts..and sucks. He also gets defensive with me when I try to talk about anything.
I try to talk to him to make him listen to me, but then again, I know it only causes him to feel more guilt and pushes him away. But I feel there does come a time, when you just need to let it all out, just for your own sanity..and then move on. He will get over it..and hopefully it opens up his eyes.
I tried doing some of that last night with my H and the night ended with both of us angry. I called to tell him I didn't want him to leave like that and he said he didn't want to leave like that either but what was he supposed to do. Again..he was angry cuz I was angry he wanted a divorce. Well DUH!
Anyhow..just rambling now..
my point..maybe try telling him a little bit how you feel, if you feel comfortable doing it. Even though he might be upset at first, when he has some time to think about it, it might start to sink in. I am hoping that is what happens with my H.
