Gotta Keep Trying 2

[TrentC]

Thanks I will look into that book and setting up a new thread. I have tried that talk with that the problems in the realtionship are not all mine and that does not go well. The responses have gone from "we never can get to any marital issues becuase of your issues" to "if you do not accept full responsibility how can you expect change" to "if you ever bring up that I have any part in why this marrige has ended I will never talk to you again - it is just another example of you putting the blame somewhere else".

Walkaway spouses almost always work from the same playbook: they have convinced themselves that the other spouse is the problem.

If you keep hitting a brick wall like that, then it's time to stop pounding your head against it. Drop the relationship conversation until she's ready to talk.

I like that plan of finding what I need to change for ME and doing it. I have lost myself so much and no longer know what is what.

And it's important because the only way you have to change the relationship is to change yourself. You can't make her change, but she will respond to your changes.