Yes J it does make sense and I have done a 180. That is where I get confused. He was always the one saying he was sorry etc. during the marriage so I thought by saying I was sorry when he would bring things up that I did wrong in the marriage I apologized for those things and I am a lot calmer. Usually I would defend myself back then but now I'm just saying "I'm sorry you feel that way, I didn't mean to say or hurt you that way" That's what the DBusting coach told me to do. I wasn't very grateful during our marriage and he keeps reminding me over and over again about all of the little things I did wrong. So I didn't know how to respond. J, I will re-read the post and try very hard to detach. I know that is my problem and I realize it now. Thanks for the advice again.
