Theoden - excellent post as usual. I really like the stuff that you write.
In regards to kids understanding, I was recently suprised by my 9 year old son. He and I were waiting in the Sunday school area of a church for my daughters girl scout meeting to finish and he found a poster with the childrens version of the Ten Commandments. When he read the "Remain always faithful to your spouse", he commented to me that his mother had broken that law.
Donna - SBT stands for Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy. It is what Michelle Weiner Davis discusses in more detail in chapter 3 of her Divorce Busting book. I dont remember her discussing it in Divorce Remedy. There should be web sites that list counselors for your area and what theories they practice - you might want to look for the ones that say "Solution Focused". Basically, it bypasses focusing on the past and instead seeks solutions to your current problems.
The past is not going to get any better or worse. You cannot rewrite history and change what has already happened. What is past is all said and done. You should learn from the past and apply it to what is ahead in the future. What remains to be seen is what you can bring to your present and future.
The below are the words that John Wayne has inscribed on his tombstone and I hope they have meaning to you as they did for me...
Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learnt something from yesterday.
