What to do, what to do?

[courts0818]

I do NOT understand why our families make the choice to just keep their mouths shut - hello family - you say you want to help, you want us to work this out, well...SAY SOMETHING ALREADY! Who cares if my H gets upset if his parents talk to him - maybe just maybe it could snap his delusional a$$ out of his fantasy fog! Know what I mean? I'm not asking them to hound him every day or to try to force him to come home. BUT, it would be nice if they would step up and tell him how much he's hurting us, remind him of the commitment he made - hold him accountable! I get so annoyed that people like to talk ABOUT US, but not TO US (or to him!).

Like you, my in-laws don't hate me. They know I'm a good person, a good mom and I was a good wife. I just don't get it and I don't get why your MIL would call you, be sweet and supportive but not have a conversation with her son. HELLO!

Your H sounds like mine in that he doesn't open up and doesn't like to talk about things. Before the bomb, how was your communication? Ours sucked...we've just never been good at talking openly. I'll take some blame, but really, I joke that the living room couch can carry a more meaningful conversation than my H. He's never been a good talker. Obviously...I mean the man never once told me he was unhappy until he walked out on me.

So, you guys are going to take things slow (good idea!). Does this mean he's still moving back in - just not right away?

I think him saying he's willing to do MC and/or IC is
H - U - G - E. Especially if he's not big on communication and doesn't really talk to anyone. That is a step in the right direction for sure. I think I'd fall out of my chair if my H finally agreed to counseling. I hope you guys find someone who is a really good match for you - someone who will call him out on his choices (hold him accountable) and help you guys learn everything you need to restore your marriage.

I know those comments like, "I'm not sure if I can love you again" cut like a knife, but keep in mind that is soooo the lingo of a WAS. And you got it - the point is, he's at least willing TO TRY! That's the first of many small steps, but thank God he's willing to at least get the ball rolling.

Keep up your efforts. Don't let your guard down just bc he's saying he's willing to make an effort.