WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

I don't think you are slipping into MLC. It is all the adjustments you've had to make that has caught up with you and causing you to think about a different life than the one you originally thought you would have (with wife). So, as you said, you are thinking about things you once enjoyed that doesn't include your wife....or not necessarily any others.....just you. It's been a few years since you've done that so you probably do feel a bit odd trying to fit your nitch, so to speak.

I just get a little worried about the MLC issue as I do feel that is part of the issue with my WAW. I just don't want to walk into the same fog. A few of my friends made that comment when I told them I was planning on getting a motorcycle again and finally getting the tattoo that I've wanted for years (it would be my first tattoo - it's a chinese symbol for family, my cousins and I had talked about all getting one to match).

I did go for my run tonite. It was a miserable nite where it was cold and rainy but I still went out. It went better than last nite's run, but I'm still getting used to running outside instead of on a treadmill. I do like the outside better, but it's a little discouraging how much harder it is.

I talked to one of my buddies who runs (10 milers) and he said that was normal. Most people who train on treadmills have to train to run twice as far/hard vs people who run outside.

I was a little down tonite as for dinner I just wound up eating a couple of hot pockets. I had hoped to go out to dinner with one of my NY friends but it didn't work out.

I did get to talk to my friend in DC and my cousin so that was good to catch up.

My WAW called me to ask if I wanted to buy my son's school pictures. I then talked to my boys. Then she got back onto the phone asking about how I wanted to handle the holidays. I reminded that her that I asked her for us to work things out without the courts a few of weeks ago but she never got back to me. She said she still wanted to do that so I told her that we should talk by the end of this week to work it out (we have a court date in 2 weeks).

So, I'm still sad and disappointed but I am good. One of my dear friends helped me put an email together to let her know that I'm done dealing with her BS and she should not expect me to be her back up plan or safety net anymore. This is particularly in light of the fact that we hadn't talked in a few weeks. Tonite, she sounded unusually "friendly" but I'm not buying it. Perhaps I'm cynical but she has yet to do anything to try and earn back any trust.

Tomorrow nite, I've got it set up to go out with a couple of buddies to watch game 2 of the world series. Hopefully it will go better than tonite's game. Go Yankees!

Thanks again for the encouragement "mom"