Hi Laurie, 2 weeks ago he sent me an email saying sorry he heard my cousin died (he had seen the death notice I forwarded to our home email), then a few days later he emailed that he was coming by the house that a.m. to show the apt. That was on 9/23. Both times I replied with brief, OK, thanks.
I'll also add that he has not given me his new work email or phone no. (started new job end of Aug.) In fact, he was supposed to let me know when his health insurance kicked in because I am still paying for him on mine. Just thought of that! Thanks for taking time to read Laurie! :-)
I think my H has moved in with OW. I just checked our credit card statement online & there is a charge for a mover & he also joined a new fitness club from the one he joined when he moved in w his buddy.
I think I need to immediately separate our finances. Our checking, savings & credit card are joint. He has stopped contacting me for the past 2 weeks. I think I need to move to a new place. I have been busy w work & have not finished my paperwork for the L. Guess what I'm going to do now. It feels like this is over. Does anyone have any advice?
It's about a month of NC w H now. I know I shouldn't contact him but sometimes I have moments of doubt. He has so completely cut me out of his life. I know, I need to GAL. In fact I'm leaving now to go to a candle party an old friend is having.
Has anyone ever gone completely dark for a month or longer and if so, did you feel better or worse over time? I ask because I am feeling worse. He was here today, again w no communication, to pick up some mail & clothes. It would be pointless to contact him as I remind myself that if he wanted to talk to me he would be. I am annoyed with myself because why do I miss someone who would treat me so crappy? I think that's how I need to look at it. I am going to try to "choose" to feel happy not crappy, & see how it works! I hope everyone is doing well & has a good weekend!
Sorry you are in this place, I understand a lot of your pain but I have not yet gone dark which I am sure is very difficult. I wish I could offer more advice on your sitch but I am a complete newbie and still relying a lot on the heavy hitters here. I agree with you that you have to choose to be positive, I wish I was strong enough to do that right now.
Has anyone ever gone completely dark for a month or longer and if so, did you feel better or worse over time? I ask because I am feeling worse. He was here today, again w no communication, to pick up some mail & clothes. It would be pointless to contact him as I remind myself that if he wanted to talk to me he would be. I am annoyed with myself because why do I miss someone who would treat me so crappy? I think that's how I need to look at it. I am going to try to "choose" to feel happy not crappy, & see how it works!
I'm trying to go as completely dark as possible, but it's hard with two kids. Still, the less I see my W the better I feel.
Trust me, going dark is hard at first but gets better with time. It's when I see W or talk to her that I get knocked back to square one.
I'm only 10 days into LRT so I'll let you know how it goes. This weekend is hard because I have the kids and I'm spending my free moments wondering what she's doing. When I don't do that anymore, I'll know I'm ready to take on the world.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
HBH & CTH, Thanks so much for your replies. I find myself having moments of doubt after a month that by not communicating I am showing I don't care & nailing the coffin shut. I know he's sending me a message, a very nasty one, that he's done & going to do whatever the h*ll he wants right now. Apparently that is moving in w OW. I have gone back & forth w wondering if I should let him know I'm taking him off my health insurance or just do it & he's not covered tough **&(. I waver between this anger at his total disrespectful behavior & a teeny silver of hope that I'm shutting the door on by NC. Am having a lot of anger these past few days, with some sadness. I don't wonder a lot about what he's doing but when I do I get really angry. Guess I need to stop that!
HBH, sorry for your situation but this is a very helpful place so keep reading & posting.
CTH, you're right. When I do hear from H it was sending me into a tailspin, usually because I know whatever he's got to say it's not good news. I'll try to remember that when I'm feeling sad. I am sorry you are here too and wish you all the best. I don't have kids & can't imagine how hard that must be. You have my support and wishes for strength through your LRT. It's truly the hardest thing I've ever done.
By the way, ADs have been a godsend, I recommnend them to help even out the rollercoaster emotions. And I'm a person who doesn't like to take even tylenol. I got the prescription in July but never took them til Sept., that's how resistant I was. Then I just felt like, this isn't going to end anytime soon, I need help. For what it's worth.
Karen43, If you read this please let me know your thoughts. If you read the last few posts you see that I have gone dark bu so has H, for over a month now. I've been reading posts where folks write how they feel better. But I keep having anxiety. Guess I am looking for reassurance that I shouldn't contact H. You may ask why would I want to, but I have been having the feeling I am showing H that I don't care. Apprarently he doesn't either. Am I doing the right thing by NC? Just feel really badly. This really does feel like the end. WOuld apprecitate your input. Thank you so much if you have time! I hope you are doing well. LFA
OK, looking for help here. After more than a month of NC, yesterday H texted me briefly that he just paid $1000 on our credit card. No hi or anything. Just the info. So I waited to reply til this afternoon, & said "Thanks I just paid $200 on my loan. That is my student loan. Not too long after that I get a text back from him: OK. we need to get together & talk. are you available tomorrow afternoon?
So here we go again. I felt so detached (with moments of doubt, see above). I am having such a reaction, pounding heart, distracted. Fear. Why do I feel like this? Actually I do have plans for tomorrow afternoon. Can someone talk me down from this semi panic attack? Thanks for any input.
