OK. I may not have been clear. I do not think that dropping the rope is giving up. I am not giving up. I am just truly letting go of the eventual outcome. I still prefer to create a new, better M with my W. But, if she cannot see how I have changed, and she is unwilling to work on the M, then ok. It's not what I want, but I will be ok.
So, in addition to giving up on the outcome, I think dropping the rope involves doing things not to try to obtain a response from W. Instead, I do things b/c I want to do them, for me. Tonight, I chose to initiate a discussion with her. I can see how that appears as pursuit, and maybe it is. But, I didn't do it for her to talk to me all night. I did it b/c I thought, for me, it was right. If she hadn't said another word to me all night, that would have been ok.
As far as leading, I believe I have to lead us out of limboland b/c otherwise, we will remain there. Maybe that leads us striaght to D, or maybe not. Don't know. Just know the M is dying a slow death in limboland. And it's not doing me any favors either.
I am not sure I understand the question about making choices. I can tell you that, yes, there was an element of my GAL'ing that was to try to lure her back. But not anymore. It's solely for me. To build my confidence. To help me realize there is a world full of beautiful, intelligent women out there if I end up back on the dating scene. And, not, I am not suggesting I am going to fool around while I'm M'd - I'm not. While I'm M'd, that's not permitted.
As for getting away for a few days, I was talking about getting to have some time for me if I end up D'd. I would do that before jumping into the dating pool.
I have to admit, I may not be on the right track with my understanding of dropping the rope. I have had a difficult time distinguishing it from detaching. Please let me know if I have that correct or not.
Thanks Sandi. Your advice is always appreciated and welcome.
