Day ended pretty well. I got home from work and went on one of the best runs I've had in a while. Nice steady pace, loud music while thiking about cognitive dissonance and cognitive distortion. VERY interesting information into the why's and how's of people's decision making process and how it can, and often does, go awry. Helps me understand what may be influencing my W's decisions and, more importantly, helps me understand how to pull myself out of the emotional funk I've been in for a week. It also helps me realize, honestly realize, I'm going to be fine no matter what happens.
So, I am feeling MUCH better mentally and emotionally. And, I think I have dropped the rope. It's all her's now. I will still lead, to where, I don't know. But its for me now. Not her or for any preconceived result. If we make it, great. If not, then its not what I wanted, its her decision, and I move on to be the best father I can for my kids and meeting someone new and very special (once I play a lot of golf, fish, a few trips, golf, enjoy me, fish, and golf).
Tonight, I actually initiated a little conversation with her b/c I wanted to. She then hung out in one part of the house, me in my usual spot in the great room (she is in the next room). I keep to myself for a while as I watch the World Series, and I think, ok, so this is how you want it to be. No sweat. After 30-45 minutes, she pipes up with a question about who is favored for the Series. And a new conversation cranks up.
A little while later, she comes into the kitchen to start working on a cake she's making. And, she's talking the entire time. I tell her about my day, not to influence her, but b/c I FELT like telling her.
Then after a while, I head off to my room. Want to get a decent night's rest tonight. But not before checking out the boards here.
