It's MY life now!!!........

[Silent Chrleader]

....C's do have a way of making you think. I'm not always sure I like that

I know what you mean, Grace. During our session, I had told C that in the beginning of my sitch, I had taken a lot of the responsibility for the breakdown of the M on myself. I thought that I had made a huge mistake in not showing him I loved him in his "love language" (i.e. acts of service.....housecleaning, cooking, etc.). I was always afraid that if I did the things he demanded, then he would walk all over me.

It should be noted that we had maids come in to do the house for the last several years of our M...... we didn't live in squalor or anything remotely like that! And I worked full time through most of my M, except when the kids were babies (I was able to not work for the first 2 years of each of their lives.)

Anyway, I asked C if he thought it might have made any difference, and he was very sure that it wouldn't. C thinks that if I had done what H wanted, I would have been a total doormat and H would have had zero respect for me at all! C basically feels that there was always deep seated intimacy issues with H and that he will never, ever, be able to be vulnerable with anyone ever. Therefore, he will never be able to have a true connection on an emotional level, and he will always be able to walk away from any relationship without qualm because he is incapable of that bonding. So, C felt that this was probably always just a matter of time, and if H couldn't have picked on those "house-wifey" issues, he would have found something else.

Truthfully, I'm not sure if the that makes me feel better or worse!!!