Donna--finding herself #37

[MichelleLT]

Just my 2 cents. It took time. At first, I kept busy just so that I didn't lose hours wrapped up in my own depressed thoughts. I tried the stop sign. I lost myself in a lot of books. I worked out.

Then I noticed I could go a day or two without getting caught up in it.

At some point about a year later, after his brief and half-a$$ed attempt at R failed and he was back with OW, I yelled into the mirror that "I just want my H back" and it didn't hit me in the gut. It didn't ring true. I was too angry at being betrayed a second time.

I've seen too much of his flaws. I've lost respect for him. I can't trust him. I can't depend on him. It took a long time for my self-esteem to recover, for me to begin to question that it was my fault that he left.

And once I was over that hump, it was all downhill. I still think about the past sometimes. But most days it doesn't hurt as much.

Of course, I have a biased opinion since we don't have kids, I don't have to deal with STBXH or OW often, if at all. That distance has helped me tremendously.