Guys, I hear you. And I'm not just saying that. I am not a "throw caution to the wind" kind of guy. Hell, I'm engineer.
Talked to counciler - her opinion was, your W has filed, you've done everything you can, it's OK, just take it really slow and avoid sex for a good while. Which is where I was with it anyway.
C also said - "I have a hunch - you should be prepared for what you're going to do when your wife comes back and wants to reconsile."
I am very worried about her. I really think she is doing worse now, than I was when I was at my lowest. I just talked to her on the phone. She is crying, she doesn't want to leave the house, she said she's burning out her support system. She is in bad shape. And then she said - she admired me for how well I had gone through all this myself - being able to be genuinely happy at moments. I tried to get her to promise me to go for a walk, to do something for herself to feel better, get on the treadmill, whatever. Sheesh. And she said - it's not my job to take care of her anymore. She should be talking to me. And I told her, she can, if it's OK for her.
Yeah.
She says she just wanted to get through this and stop hurting, but she has not hope for the future - that everything is going to suck for awhile. She is really fighting depression.
I asked my C - how do I not feel responsible for her? And her response (it was the end of the session) was just that I'm not.
Dammit!! I do not want to see her go through this. And yeah, I feel like I need to rescue her. Cause, that's our relationship. I married someone that needed me, and only me, so much that, either I just couldn't meet those needs, or I ended up keeping her at arm's length.
This is all her choice. I don't know how to help her through this and still do what I need to do for me to move through this situation.
