Year 2...and still breathing!

[whatisis]

Well, it's Wednesday and time for the Whatis crisis of the week. This weeks gem is that STBX phoned me to say she found used condoms in D15's room. She allows D and bf to spend time together after school at her place. She put rules down as to where they are to be e.g. no bedrooms or basement. They are to be in the living room and kitchen only. D12 is also home so it was felt this would be OK. Uh uh. So when STBX caught them a few weeks ago in an area they were not to be she banned bf for three days and had a heart to heart with D about sexuality. So tomorrow night we have to sit down try to discuss this in a loving way but also let her know that sexual activity is not permitted in our homes...period. We'll discuss how this choice on her part was made and try to share what we think and know from experience and listen to her. Sounds like a fun night eh! Bet she storms out at some point. I told STBX that we absolutely cannot show anger or it will be over before it starts. STBX said her first reaction is to set down rules and punishments etc and that is why she wants to wait till tomorrow night because she knows that is not the way to go. Now, to be fair, I had a fleeting thought of getting out my old police baton and beating the living sh!t out of the bf...but that passed quickly Any advice out there besides take a Lorazepam before I go (which I won't!)HELP!