Welcome to the boards. You've come to the right place.
Some basic questions:
* How old are you and your wife? * How long have you been married? How long have you been in a relationship? * How many children (I see the answer: 2 kids, 1 and 3 yrs) * When did she "drop the bomb" on you? * How have things been since then? * Is she living with you still? * Has there been any change in her behavior that might cause you to suspect an affair (either emotional or physical)?
As far as her reading the book, your first priority right now is to stop talking to her about the relationship. All you are doing is putting pressure on her, which is going to reinforce the choice she has made. (The same goes for whoever sent her the book; it was a noble effort, but it obviously had the opposite effect.)
Which book did you get? Divorce Busting or The Divorce Remedy? I prefer DR because it's got more stuff for you to work on yourself.
Another thing to work on is detachment; this will give you the emotional energy to work on what you need to work on. There's a good forum thread started by Coach here and livestrong.com has a good article here explaining the value of detachment.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
