Recovering yourself from all this

[ClingingToHope]

I think I'm fooling myself if I believe she will 'realize' what a mistake this is and change. The evidence just isn't there.

Yes. I keep holding on to the thought that someday W will realize what we had was worth saving.

I'm realizing now that that just gives her continued emotional power over me.

What if I rebuild my life, find a new love, realize my dreams, help my girls grow into successful, confident women with their own careers and families and then, on my deathbed, when STBXW comes to see me, I ask her if she knows now she made a mistake and she replies, 'no, I'm happy with how things turned out.'

If I let her, that'd crush me. Better to work toward not caring what goes on in her head. If she comes to you someday and said I know now I made a mistake. Deal with it then. If it never happens, well the fog will lift in Heaven when God asks her why she broke the covenant?