Finally heard back from GF and she said she can't handle a BF right now. She doesn't want me to go away, but just hang out and go slow w/her so she can figure herself out.
She said things were going too fast for her and she freaked out, so she doesn't want me gone, but can't handle having to talk about "our" future as we've been doing.
So, I told her that I can do that and I'll look to hang out w/her from time to time, but will look to go slow and work on putting myself and my needs ahead of all others. It will give me an opportunity to lead my life and to practice being around someone I care about w/out being needy, pushy, or clingy.
In the meantime, I'll also go out on a few dates and if something is out there that will click, then I'll be able to just have the "friendship" w/GF.
It is an opportunity to start fresh and see if GF is really the one I want to be w/or to move on. It also gives me a bit of a mulligan on my past behavior w/her so I can learn from it for future use w/whomever.
