Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

I agree. As much as I don't want it to come to that. I do agree though. And if it happens i fully believe our spouses are gonna be the ones looking back at things one day fully regretting what they did.

And when/if that happens, you can work on trying to create a new friendship with him. But that's one possible future; no reason to put energy into it.

The problem with me, is that I love my H more than the world, and would probably wait till the end of time for him to realize it....

I feel the same way about my wife. And what I learned is, while that sentiment is powerful (and will be important if and when you get to piecing your relationship together), that sentiment is not enough to keep a wayward spouse from leaving.

Think about it: how many times have you said that to your husband since he moved out? How many times have I said it to my wife since she dropped the bomb on me? Did it had an effect at all?

Probably not; depending on how and when we said it, we probably came across as clingy, pathetic, or needy; and those are not traits one looks for in a mate.

So if telling them they are more important to you than your own happiness doesn't work, then why keep doing it?