This is something I have been struggling with for a while myself. How do you get out of limboland without applying direct pressure.
If we push for Retro or counseling etc, then that is pressure.
If we express pain or need, then that is pressure AND unattractive, and only makes the WAS feel guilt and resentment
If we say "I am going to leave / file for D myself unless..." then that is pressure (and a threat)
This leaves only 2 options (please let me know if you see others):
Option 1: Learn to be happy living a disconnected separate life within the marriage. Connect with yourself. Fulfill yourself. Be independently happy. Release all expectations of anything more from M.
Option 2: Become the WAS. File for D and move on with your life.
Any other thoughts?
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
