I've done so much work on myself this past year. Obviously it is brutally painful that I chose to leave and it is heartbreaking that I can't change that. I haven't been able to shake my love for you and desire to have our family together.
I’m not going to pretend or play games. It sucks that you’re with another man. When I tell you I'm not judging, it is because I'm trying not to. I don't feel entitled to. But it is so hard. And sometimes, I fall short when I think about us and who we were together and who we could be. I struggle with what we are losing.
I know that this doesn't feel fair and that you feel I'm putting pressure on you. If there was some manageable way for me to sit tight and be your friend and see how things evolve, I would. But I'm a man and I want my wife with me and my family together. The best and only way I can make amends is to love you, make you the priority in my life and work my ass off at a providing a wonderful life for you and our girls.
The bottom line for me is that I can't fake it. I can't pretend I don't have an opinion about you being with someone else, I can't be friends knowing that you're intimate with him. What I can do is tell you straight up, I have busted my ass to get to this place of honesty and clarity and I will bust my ass to deliver for you and us.
I've reached a point where I need to know if there is anything you are willing to do to explore healing the hurt between us and if there is any path toward a future together. If not, I have to focus all of my energy on moving forward on my own and to begin that process our marriage needs to end. I’d like to agree that we’ll pick up the paperwork and begin the dissolution process this week in.
RSF
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
