You don't necessarily have to stop thinking or loving your wife. What you have to do is more put those feelings in a closed box. One that can only be opened with a key that she provides. Example-My wife and I occasionally talk about the relationship. I learned long ago I can't bring up the topic because it will go bad even if my intentions are good and validating her point. Every now and then the opposite happens and she brings up the situation. I keep my mouth shut, opinions close, and validate what I can. Those conversations are constructive as she allows me a view into her world. She really doesn't care about my world so there is no reason to bring it up. All other times I keep our relationship closed in my mind and concentrate on house and kids....no discussions about us. It is really about self-control and discipline really.
To multiple and make the problem worse for you...is your diagnosed ADD. You are back to focusing on her....much more than is normal (or so I am told because it is my normal...lol). That is why GAL'ing is so important...you need to get your focus elsewhere....not on her.
