The adventure chronicles

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I guess you do.

Because, if and as soon as you do this one thing, John, there will be one MORE thing, make no mistake.

It's all about control.

Puppy

[Puppy Dog Tails]

The thing is, we've been on a few dates and she constantly brings up this woman. She's pretty much fixated on it. So, other than being happy, confident, etc, what else? Do I cave and take this woman off FB? I mean, what's next after that? What else do I let her control? I know you're going to answer yes Puppy, but what else am I missing?

You're not missing ANYTHING, John. I mean, you've analyzed this thing to DEATH, and she is who she is. She's NOT going to change, and you have to decide (!!!!!) what you want to do, for you and your daughter, and then you need to JUST FREAKING DO IT.

All this dithering isn't good for ANY of the three of you.

Puppy

[gucci loafer]

Ok. You asked her out. She refused.

End of story...

I wouldn't give in on taking the other woman off of face book.
It seems to be just another excuse for her again..

Here is your answer for her once again now that she refused your invitation..

"I have decided"

this isn't working...
I just don't feel what you want me to feel....
too much has happened...
this if for the best.....
I am done too......


etc....


and then keep up the social interaction with others.. ESPECIALLY the one on FB if possible....

Take charge of your life here and move out of this pit.


DECISIVE....

[Steve McQueen]

But you have to take this woman off FB or else I'm done, as a matter of fact I am already done. She said, if I don't care I can't get hurt. So, she doesn't care now apparently. I guess I have my answer.

wow. she broke up with you. how'd you get so lucky.

doesn't that make you free to start a 'relationship' with the facebook girl?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

But you have to take this woman off FB or else I'm done, as a matter of fact I am already done. She said, if I don't care I can't get hurt. So, she doesn't care now apparently. I guess I have my answer.

wow. she broke up with you. how'd you get so lucky.

doesn't that make you free to start a 'relationship' with the facebook girl?

Except that she'd told him this before ("I'm done'), and she STILL persists in trying to controlling him.

I love the "I have decided that" thing, and even counsel others to use it now, but it's too late for ol' AFW to use it effectively here. You can't "decide" something when they've already decided FOR you.

Puppy

[PMA_Baby!]

I thought you said you play poker.

Can't you spot a bluff when you see it?

Call it!!!

Why did you give her any explanation? She said she was done. You like a lot of us on this site are IN LOVE with the WOMAN you WANT her to be. NOT who she really is... Im sorry. I know it sucks but that is REALITY.

LET GO!!! So you can start the healing process. You can and will do better for you and your daughter. Both of you dont need this ABUSIVE person in your life PERIOD.

PMA

[Puppy Dog Tails]

You like a lot of us on this site are IN LOVE with the WOMAN you WANT her to be. NOT who she really is...

Boy, ain't THAT the truth -- with a LOT of us! It certainly was with me.

Puppy

[Steve McQueen]

But you have to take this woman off FB or else I'm done, as a matter of fact I am already done. She said, if I don't care I can't get hurt. So, she doesn't care now apparently. I guess I have my answer.

wow. she broke up with you. how'd you get so lucky.

doesn't that make you free to start a 'relationship' with the facebook girl?

Except that she'd told him this before ("I'm done'), and she STILL persists in trying to controlling him.

I love the "I have decided that" thing, and even counsel others to use it now, but it's too late for ol' AFW to use it effectively here. You can't "decide" something when they've already decided FOR you.

Puppy

I personally love 'I agree, you are right.'



AFWAW, a couple questions if i may. How does being involved with your wife make you feel about yourself?

Gucci's punchword to you was DECISIVE.... With that in mind, Can you answer these questions?

So, other than being happy, confident, etc, what else?

Do I cave and take this woman off FB?

I mean, what's next after that?

What else do I let her control?

what else am I missing?

[AFWAW]

AFWAW, a couple questions if i may. How does being involved with your wife make you feel about yourself?

It depends on what's going on. Sometimes I feel very uncomfortable and other times I like being around her. Being involved with her makes me very self conscious. I often wonder if she's comparing me to OM. I get very angry with myself sometimes too for wanting to be with her based on everything she's done to me and our family. So, I guess the answer is it depends. Difficult question.

Gucci's punchword to you was DECISIVE.... With that in mind, Can you answer these questions?

So, other than being happy, confident, etc, what else?

gee, I guess decisive.

Do I cave and take this woman off FB?

No, if I did then what's next. It is controlling and unreasonable and we are not back together.

I mean, what's next after that?

Anything she can construe as behavior that she doesn't like.
What else do I let her control?

what else am I missing?

Probably a lot, I'll probably never have the full story from her.

[AFWAW]

So, as suspected, I got another call from the wife this evening. How's it going she asked. Great, I had a great day today. So, are we going to work this out or not, she asked? I said, I thought you were done. She said she really wanted to work it out and would I please take this woman off the FB. I said, no, I think you're trying to control me again. She asked if I would call my couselor and ask her if I was being unrealistic or unreasonable. I said, ok. I'll leave her a message. So I did. Same thing as I thought but even more interesting.

My counselor said, assuming you guys got back together and were "back together" then I think it would be in both of your interests to not associate with people of the oppposite sex unless they are mutual friends however, you are not back together so it appears that this is controlling behavior. She said, I can't tell you what to do but if you are considering getting back together then I would suggest that you guys take it very slow. Start with dating.(I know, Gucci already suggested this) She said, if you take this OW off FB and it doesn't work out then you've lost a friend. She said, most people that walk away don't make demands to come back home if they really want to come back home. She asked if I felt comfortable around her. I said, not for the most part. She said, that's probably due to you not trusting her based on everything she's done. She asked me, what makes you think that she will change her behavior based on all that's happpened? How do you know that she will deliver on everything she's promised based on her past behavior? Once again, she suggested that we start slow and that we start dating.

So, we'll see if my wife will agree to that. Personally, I doubt it and that's ok.