Communication broke down in my marriage. There's no reason to think it would improve with and after divorce. Nothing you say to her will make sense. It'll just sound like blame and guilt directed at her.
Things that weigh heavy on you are yours to process, manage. Is it a coincidence that you sent that letter to your former spouse right when you're accepting the instability of the relationship with your GF?
In my opinion, this is where individual or group counseling helps YOU with what's going on with your thought process, your emotions. Anxiety and obsessive worrying are like a dog chasing its tail. All it does is get you dizzy. Find positive healthy tools that help, not hurt, you.
As I was told over and over again, my former spouse will probably never validate my actions, even when they're absolutely right, because it goes against the path he's set. I HAVE to be wrong, at fault for the choices he's made.
When you can get to the point where you can say that you were happy for what you shared, disappointed that it broke, know the positive that your former spouse brought and embrace the life you have then you're on the road to health. Otherwise you still get sucked into a past that only brings hurt and resentment. And it only hurts you.
