Part 2 - the OM can't seem to get out of my life, let go. How do I handle this? I've said all the appropriate things. We do work together but not in direct contact so that's really not an issue. BUT, he does feel the need to call or come by my house. He says he just wants to talk, but I can see that he's just trying to "smooze" me......
Advice?
If he comes by the house, don't let him in. If he calls, don't answer the phone. If your cellphone will do custom ringtones for specific callers, assign his number a silent ringtone and turn off any vibration feature.
If you work together, there is probably a company policy about sexual harassment. Remind him of that policy and inform him that if he doesn't leave you alone, you'll take this matter to your HR department.
I'm reminded of a quote from PDT:
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
One way I've seen it handled (Hope4Us has been really good with this) is to use it as an opportunity to talk about the consequences/dynamics/etc. of infidelity; validating, without enabling. So maybe something like:
"I hate to see you hurting, and I understand you feel partially responsible for his pain. This (notice I didn't say "but") is a consequence of him deciding to have an affair with a married woman, and he's just going to have to work thru it with his family" (or whatever)
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
