What to do, what to do?

[LuLu]

PH- I appreciate your honesty. I understand where you are coming from and you are right. It was controlling and that is one of the things I have to work on. I hate to try to rationalize it but "desperate times call for desperate measures". I have young children at home and my 3 year old was internationally adopted last year, she is emotionally fragile. I was fighting for my girls.

Court-

If someone were to write an email like about my H. I WOULD forward it to him. Cause you know what? NOBODY besides me will call my H out on his behavior and it makes me sick! His family won't say crap to him (for fear he will shut them out), his boss and I have had tons of conversations and he knows what's going on, but still doesn't say one freaking word to my H (they are not just boss/employee - they are friends). So...I'm the only one who tries to make him accountable and he doesn't listen to a word I say. My H NEEDS to get an email like that. He NEEDS to know what others think of his rotten behavior. He really does. Everyone acts like what he's done is just fine and it makes me extremely upset. Sometimes we all need a wake up call from our family and friends, but there's nobody here that is willing to step up - not even his parents and I cannot understand it. It really makes me very sad, angry and frustrated. It's like HELLO PEOPLE - don't ignore his behavior and act like it's cool - HELP TO HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE!

I could have written this verbatim (well, except the boss thing). His family even knows about the affair and have said nothing to him. I could see if they hated me and were thankful to be rid of me but that's not the case. His mother even called me up crying telling me she loved me and didn't understand what H was doing. Nobody said a thing to him. H was in lala-land about what he was doing. Yes, there will be tension with SD moving forward but in time it will pass. They were good friends and it will happen again. My SD is young so the two of them were only about 8 years apart. They really were good friends. Until H he moved out. Then SD wanted nothing to do with H and H knew it.

Last night H came over to see our dd's. We talked about him moving back in. We were both concerned about it being too soon, it's still a little awkward. He said he didn't want to move back in to just move back out again. I said I understood. He said that we should start with marriage counseling and I agreed. I also asked if he would go to IC. He said he would. This in itself is huge and I hope he follows through. He's had depression issues in the past, esteem issues and now this and he talks to nobody.

H said that he wants to try to work on the marriage for our girls. He said he's not sure if he could love me again but he wants to try. Every time he says something like that, I wince. It hurts every time. But it is what it is and he's willing to try. He says he wants to say to the girls that he tried everything if we do end up divorced (which are my words repeated back to me but hey, I don't care, he's getting it). So as of now, we're going to take him moving back in slowly but we're going to work on the marriage.

I think I owe my SD dinner out or something.