PLEASE HELP! - About to completely LOSE IT!!!

[aflowergurlie]

Spoke too soon. Just after I posted above, heard garage door. H comes in and knocks on my door. Is annoyed and asks me about the grocery situation. I haven't gone grocery shopping since last Monday and I haven't cooked dinner yesterday and today, two week nights in a row now. I told him I have been very busy and haven't had time to get to the store lately, does he need something. H replies, yes, food and then rolls eyes and starts walking out of my room. I just went to kitchen and put on happy face, and whipped up a quick dinner. H sat at bar and chatted with me. I just listened quietly while I cooked. I have pulled back on being enthusiastic and more interested in him and what he is saying to a little more guarded and self-consumed.

H told me he had a really bad day at work. Had some long meeting that went on forever. Then says "Thanks for not being all weird on Saturday when I came here." I just smiled and then I said "If it's who I think it was, please don't mistake that I'm ok with that." H just looked at me a little surprised and just said "okay?". Then I resumed my cordial self and he chattered on. Asked me about the preparation of another dish I had made last week. (I'm thinking he keeps trying to gather info like this, as he has asked me about a few other things, so he can prepare and cook something for OW or OP. Makes me furious inside because I feel like he is using stuff like this against me. He was never interested in cooking for me or doing things like that for me, but now he can use my knowledge to help him for OW or OP???? Make him look like this shining person in front of others, meanwhile it's all me behind it. Makes me want to spit nails.)

Noticed that he got some tickets in the mail via ticketmaster yesterday. I never said a word about it to him. Tonight he tells me about someone coming in concert locally. Tells me when and where they're playing and how much tickets cost. It had the implication of if I'm interested I should get my friends and myself tix to go is how it seemed. Inside I'm thinking is this the concert he already has tix to and he's hoping that I show up and have to "run into" him and OW or OP???

Then tells me about a romantic comedy movie he saw and says "You should see it, I think you would think it's cute." Again, when he starts talking and telling me about his activities I just wanna bleck all over because I know that he's with OW doing them.

H's mood and demeanor way more stressed, depressed, and irritated looking tonight than I have seen him in a long time. But he did apologize to me, said "I'm sorry if I was grumpy with you earlier." And made it a point to thank me for dinner as I was leaving the kitchen while he was still eating at the bar.

Thought I was home alone for evening and now I'm staying put in my room, ugh. Just don't want to be around him tonight. Don't want to hear about his life anymore right now. I never tell him about mine anymore and I don't even want to, so why should I have to subject myself to listening about his when it doesn't include me. We are in two separate worlds, living two completely separate lives and the overlapping of them is getting less and less...

P.S. He also asked me about the cat pic texts AGAIN, and talked about how cute the kitty is. Lol!