Wow. Congrats. It is a dance, and it is baby steps. It all sounds positive.
Yes, listen and validate - don't fight no matter what.
However, someone wisely reminded me on this board that when we are dealing with abusive men, the DB principals don't always work. DB if for normal relationships, generally.
So, I would add protect yourself emotionally. Stay calm, but don't take in his anger. Remember his anger is totally about him and his inability to handle his own feelings. Don't take the blame.
