Not wanting to be on this boat........

[Buffet]

Shock--
Thanks for checking on me I appreciate your advice throughout.

I am on the road today for work (i travel about 10 nights a month) and I have gotten a couple of phone calls from her and just chatting away like everything is ok?? I read others stories and here that it is just weird when it happens to you.

I have another MC appointment for monday and I told W it is her choice to show up or not. I have not said it but I feel like she needs to make a commitment to either work on this or not. Either way I think that I would be able to accept I just do not like the wondering what and when all of the time.

What is the opinion of asking W for a commitment either way? Any good come out of this or all bad? Do I leave it alone for now and just continue on.

Also, I am wondering about my thoughts (still!) Do I just want to be in a relationship, is it ok to think that I am ok with D or M but just want a resolution either way. It seems here patience is a virtue, but how much is to much?? What were others internal gauge on when to say "Forget This!!" I do love my W but I also really feel like the more this goes on and extremly more feel this way now than I did a month ago that it is getting harder and harder to look at her in the same light ever again. How many times can my "loved one" absolutely rip my face apart and I still come back looking for love. I deserve better than this, it feels like I am a puppy dog (sorry for the pun!) looking for love and getting kicked every time.
This should not be such a big deal but I have not had sex, a kiss, a cuddle, heck held hands in 7 months.....grr.....
I know that I made mistakes in the M that has contributed to the current feelings but doesnt everyone deserve a 2nd chance? Dont I deserve to be happy and feel loved?