Lost and confused...welcome and sorry no one has answered you sooner.
Just so that I can really understand your post, will you please elaborate a bit more? For instance, it isn't clear to me if you are wanting more passion and intimacy from him, or if you are asking how you can let go of your resentment?
I can say that the combination of low testosterone and binge drinking can defintely cause a man to have a very low sex drive, so its not about his previous partners - or at least I would doubt that very highly! Also, given that you feel that you would both say that the sex is good when you do have it is a very good sign that you can probably recover your SSM with enough effort.
Another thing is this: I think that in general, people who are HD and feel that they are missing out on sex, are actually missing out on intimacy. As you probably know, physical intimacy is only one type of intimacy. But the other types of intimacy can be much more meaningful than the physical, so if they are missing it can be more painful than if the physical is missing. Do you have a clear idea in your mind of what exactly you want/need more of? Starting with that piece would help you a lot. Getting it clear in your own head what you want and need will help you move forward and then be able to tell him the same.
