She said that OM was her friend; that he listened to her; that he told her she was wonderful; that he accepted her....things she said she yearned for with me but never received.
Hi, Dazed,
Your W just gave you a gift, so look beyond the crappy wrapping and see it.
And I don't mean breaking up with OM.
She told you very clearly what she wants. Should the two of you move toward reconciliation at some point in the future, you now have a checklist to work from.
Most of the comments so far have focused on affair-busting, and that's definitely what you needed to hear. Here's something to stick in the back of your head and think about when you're ready.
How did your W become vulnerable to the emotional attachment of an affair? As you think about this - again, when you're ready - you'll need to be ruthlessly honest with yourself. Was there something she wasn't getting that should have been coming from you? Listening, acceptance, attention, appreciation?
If no one has yet mentioned Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages", I will. It's a short, easy, and for me, life-changing read. It may well give you some serious insights into how your marriage got to the point where an affair could happen, and it will also give you an arsenal of tools to ensure you never get there again.
Cheers,
Dia
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
