I know it is bringing up the past, but I sent it anyway b/c it was unresolved for me. I've been wanting to sit and have a conversation w/her for so long and I've been keeping all of this inside of me.
So, today, I decided to let it out. I feel good about letting it go. I really do. She NEVER discussed ANYTHING - no discussion, no talking...NOTHING at all.
I told her what crushed me, how much it hurt and why. I admitted where I failed and apologized for that. I laid out my side of how I was affected by the D and now I do feel good...sort of at peace w/XW.
Having it pent up wasn't good for me. I could have written and not sent it, but after thinking about it, I needed her to get it. I needed her to know. I needed it so I could begin to let go of the anger and disappointment I've still be harboring toward her.
So, I did it for me and while she may throw it back on me at sometime, I don't care. I really don't b/c I feel good about it.
I'm not pissed off at XW right now. I think this action will help me to stay this way.
