I def. can understand why you are tired of DBing. Seven years!!! That's so long a time. I think how he treats you is emotionally abusive. I know you say he won't get counseling, but if/when you are ready to walk, I think one thing you could do as a LRT is to tell him how you feel. Something like you are ready to leave and are done with the M if he doesn't get IC and work on his issues.
