A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Today was more sane. Hopefully the rest of the week will be as well. <Dia touches wood>

Got my first ever apology from H for the hurtful stuff he did when we were in our death spiral. It was tentative and uncertain, but he said the words. Not for the A, but for the stuff leading up to it. (e.g. "When you didn't spend any time with me but still wanted sex, even to the point of waking me up in the middle of the night for it, I felt like you didn't care about *me* and all you wanted was a f^&#$. I felt like all that other stuff you were doing was more important - and much more enjoyable - than me.")

We also had a *good* R talk this morning and last night about the following:

1) Our respective uncomfortable feelings with the other person's respective family over the holidays.

2) Preliminary plans for how to deal with the aforementioned people and ensuing travel arrangements

3) The need for and logisitics of how to balance self-time vs. together time w/o anyone feeling a) smothered, or b) neglected.

There were lots of potential resentments and insecurities flying about, but I think we did well. h even contacted me midday today to say he'd been thinking about stuff I said this morning - always a good sign from him (means he actually listened ).