Well, the good news is I've managed to find away around the school's web blocks by downloading firefox and using it instead of internet explorer.
So far, so good and I'll be able to check in and stay more current...at least for the time being.
Ok, there was a lot I'd missed, so I cut out some stuff you posted and I'll comment on them.
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.. I am mad at him. Waves of anger are coming because something is ALWAYS connected to the 1 year of cheating and the next 2 years of lying.
This is normal in piecing (as someone mentioned earlier) and to be expected as you are living w/ghosts of the past that don't seem to die easily. I'm sure the more he "proves" himself to you, the easier this stage will become for you.
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I feel I am not pretty enough, not stylish enough, not sexy enough... I feel I am not woman enough for him.
You were left behind, so no wonder you feel inadequate. It is up to him to help you feel sexy again, but also up to you to let yourself feel it again. You are stunning and when you were being courted not too long ago by a wonderful man, you felt sexy and alive. Don't forget those feelings as they aren't too far removed.
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He is scheduling to see her. He says he will tell her he will not answer to any of her attempts to contact him and that he thinks it's inappropriate to keep asking him for favors
I like this on a few levels, but like Jeff said, I really can't believe that he's doing what he needs to be doing. It is still early, but he's starting down the correct path. Ok, about his meeting her to tell her it is completely over and she can't contact him again, that is a great step. The fact that he told you all about it is even better. He is trying to be transparent w/you and that is what you have to have to make sure you can feel safer and more secure in time.
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I must be a real b!tch!
Nope! Not at all. Because you like to see her suffer, you are merely human, my dear.
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I am caring (to a degree) and this weekend I initiated hugs and snuggles. There is this huge weight in my heart, I cant enjoy much, but yes, some moments it feels good. I am not sure if it is him or that just contact that does though... I need major reassurance from him.
His actions of late are a good start - telling you about ending it w/her and the date - the more he continues to do this, the more reassured you will begin to feel. Time will tell w/him, but in the short run, he's been doing well...and its about time!
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My dad's results showed a 30% !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! reduction of the "growth" of the lymph nodes...there is no doubt, cancer cells are DYING
Nothing more I can say about this except what wonderful news! I'm so happy to hear this, Sunshine. Like you said, any additional time is a blessing. I nearly lost my father to colon cancer, so I know how scary the trip is and how wonderful it feels to get some positive, long-term news.
