Hi all-LRT advice?

[Arwen_in_NJ]

Hi all-
Mostly I lurk on this board... Beginning of my sitch is here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...357#Post1804357

Long & short- my MLC WAW has been having PA with OW since last Nov (W was living out of town on long term job assignment). Job ended in June, and W moved back to our town but OW followed her here and they have been staying together at various friend's houses since. W has not wanted to talk about R, and has retained an attorney but not filed for D- wants mediation and an amicable dissolution of our M. A week ago, W moved into her own apt with OW.

I am standing for this M, and am prepared to stand for a long time. After initial shock of A, I have been DBing and tried to act toward my W from a place of grace, dignity, love & compassion. I want to have a foundation of safety & friendship in case her A crashes & she looks back toward what we had for 16 years. W has noticed changes, says "I am doing great" and even thanked me for my help & acknowledged she knew it was hard on me.

The reason I am looking for advice is this- since she "officially" moved out a little over a week ago, we have had no contact. Today I got an email titled "Hi there. Checking In" saying this:
"Hi (my name),
Just checking in. It has been a full week since the move. Have spent only 4 days in the apartment since then.

I did come across a few things that I did not mean to bring along -- all the table linens for example. I want drop them off and visit with (our dog) during the day sometime this week. I also caught a cold so will not look to schedule another working session with you until I am better." That is referring to working on a financial statement to submit for mediation...

She then gives me the update on the big customer account she is trying to win- things are basically on hold and she won't know for several more months if she wins the account. I know that she is concerned that her job would be ripe for downsizing if they don't get this win. She finished with "Speak to you soon. (her name)"

I am trying not to overanalyse her e-mail, but I feel that the last about her job was looking to me for support, to see if I was still there for her. I don't know how to respond since I have basically gone dark. Do I continue with the friendly, supportive tone I have had the last 8 months, or do I now keep it unemotional and strictly business now that she has her own place?

Sorry for the length of this one...