I understand you GIMA, but doesn't patience fit in here someplace. EB has made changes, he has seen improvement in his sitch. Is not one of his options to sit tight, keep working on himself, and see if the improvement continues (even if it is ever so slowly). The improvement he has seen lately is in the direction of his ultimate goal. As of now, it would seem that time is working for him. Am I wrong EB?
sit tight/limboland/the waiting place are all places where you wait for someone else to get you out of the hole.
I advocate moving forward for your own good. Travelling the parallel paths of reconciliation and divorce and preparing to thrive the best you can under either outcome. Patience is most definetely needed but time is relative. It's what you do with the time.
Quote:
Patience is the companion of wisdom. - St Augustine
Quote:
When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
sit tight/limboland/the waiting place are all places where you wait for someone else to get you out of the hole.
Cheers
I like the reference to Dr. Seuss. Was given the book as a graduation present many years back.
Quote:
When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
How do you determine if the stove is too hot in this situation?
How do you determine if the stove is too hot in this situation?
The smell of burning flesh.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Well, I'm not burning right now so I'll hold tight. I'm actually just getting a life. W seems to notice, but it's not really about that for me lately.
W doesn't mention moving, and occasionally even moves toward me. This isn't what I want out of a M though and she still seems to have no interest in working on it. I have let resentment build and as I mentioned the tank is empty. The urge is to ask her, "so, how's the house search coming?" I'm just leaving it alone for a litle longer though.
I'm going to start going to the gym at night after S goes to bed.
W didn't care about me moving on early on in our sitch. She seemed to welcome it. She was really indifferent. Her going out and hanging with her GF has really slowed in the past couple of months though while my GAL activities have really grown. She is very curious where I am and what I am doing now. She didn't care at all a few months ago. Interesting. I don't hang my hat on it anymore, but it's still interesting.
I'll hold off on the conversations for a bit longer, but I'm not putting my life on hold anymore.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
I spent last night at home with W and S. I stopped at the store and picked up come cider and donuts for dessert after dinner. (ended up breaking into them before dinner). I had fun spending time with S. We made a project and worked on his homework together.
W called me a couple of times yesterday. She came up with reasons, but essentially just to tell me about her day and ask about mine. She followed me upstairs after I got home from work just to ask for a hug too.
I'm just not feeling it right now though.
Of course, I hugged her back, and was pleasant on the phone when she called. I took the dog for a long walk after S went to bed. W waited up for me to return and was asleep on the couch when we got back.
I am going back to work on my G'ma's house tonight. I'm enjoying myself more over there lately.
I'm feeling very detached, but maintain the fact that love is a choice, not a feeling. I am receptive to her as I don't want to turn her away, but I'm definitely different over the past couple of weeks.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
