Am I at this stage?

[TrentC]

Trent, kind of embarrassing but I didn't really get the quote till you put in in better terms for me...hehe...so thanks. But now it makes sense.

No problem; it's all part of the service.

I realize I have no control over my H, and the more I set up these goals in my mind, and the more that my H doesn't meet them, the more I will feel beaten down. So thanks. Its almost like I know all this stuff, I get everything, everything makes complete sense to me, but its actually putting it into action and really doing it is the hard part right now.

Welcome to the club. Believe me, I don't practice half as well as I preach.

The detaching thing for example. I understand it, I know how to do it, its just actually doing it that I can't come to terms with. So frustrating!

The trick to detaching is to take it one encounter at a time.

* Does he text you or leave a voice mail? Unless it's related to the kids or otherwise urgent, don't reply immediately.
* Does he drop by to say "hi"? Act As If -- this will mean faking it for a while -- and be cheerful and happy around him.

That is true though, he did have sex with me and did blow me off for a day because I didn't fit into his plan that day, but then the following day when he was "bored" I fit in again, so he invited me to hockey. Now its been two days again, and I haven't heard from him. Ugh. No more!

By George, I think she's got it!

I can't wait to tell him this is not the way things are going to be. Just the sexual part I'm talking about. But then again, maybe it was a one time thing and he will not be expecting anymore. Maybe I just gave him his fix.! Its been 4 or 5 days and he hasn't mentioned a word, so for all I know he used me.

Maybe. Maybe not. Trying to figure out why he did it is unproductive negative meditation. (Also known as worrying!)