Can I save my marriage?

[Lll54]

Citygirl, you're right. I understand detaching, but at the same time I don't understand detaching. Ugh. I do feel like alot of what I do is for H right now. Everything I do is for H right now. Everyday when I wake up I think, okay I what do I need to do today that will bring my H back. Its pathetic. I am seeing a counsellor. But we are still in the stages of making the changes I need to make in order to have a happy healthy marriage with my H. Not yet to the part of making changes for me. Sometimes its hard to want to make changes for "me" because who do I have to share those changes with? Who do I have to share the new me with? Nobody! So what is the point? I know, I know. I get it, but those things go through my head alllll the time! And I think that is why the changes I'm making, and the new things I'm doing with my life all still reflect back on to my H. Because as much as I say I'm doing it for me, I definitely am doing it for my H. I was starting to let go and do things for me about a week ago. The last I heard from my H was that nothing has changed and he has no desire to come home. So there was one day where he called twice. No that was unheard of in the last two weeks! And really I felt like I was at a point where it didn't even bother me, I didnt even analyze it. Which was a huge step for me! I honestly had no hope in our M at that time. I don't know if you read my whole thread, but friday he was here and we had a HUGE breakthrough! He told me how much change he has seen in me, and we discussed the future. We had a few hours of intimacy and it was great! A couple days later he asked me to spend some family time with him and the kids and then he came over for supper. Completely unheard of a few weeks ago. So I guess the hard part is getting back to where I was when I had no hope. Its hard to detach when you have all this other stuff happening. I have this HUGE hope now something I didn't have 2 weeks ago. And I don't know how to deal with it.??