Hey Esox - thanks - everything has been helpful! I've had a lot of moments of not thinking clearly.
If anyone has any doubts, moving on with your life really has the potential to turn your spouse around. Without details... my W was really trying to pull me in yesterday. And had some really - specific - ideas of how to hurt the woman I had seen.
I finally had to tell her, STOP IT. THis is the moment. Tell me to stay, right now, or else I'm moving on. It's one or the other.
And she said, I can't.
After she went to bed, I walked the dog and met up with my friend, and gave her full disclosure. This is not going to be an easy situation, and since you know my W you should be prepared that this might destroy your friendship. I told her, be careful, and everything must move very slowly. I'm not pushing you away, but you should choose what you want to do here.
Hm. Now, which was the frying pan, and which was the fire?
Seeing my C today. This is probably good timing.
She did that to test you to see if she could still control you to stay and let go of the other person, don't bother to ask her anymore, continue doing what you are doing. When she really wants you back, she will tell you and you will be in the position to say yes or no at that point - don't bother asking her anymore, she's still not ready, she doesn't like what's happening because she can see that you're moving on - she had all the power when she was making the decision to have an affair and move on, she can see now that she doesn't have that power anymore. Let her sit on this now, let her see that you aren't the 2nd option anymore - now she has to deal with the thought of losing you, don't present yourself as the 2nd option anymore.
