Yes I do believe that you can know if it really is MLC. Maybe not immediately but as you learn about it, and watch and listen, you will see it if it is there.
MLCer’s seem to follow a script of sorts.
I love you but not in love with you. Rewriting of history. You were controlling. Spending New friends
The list goes on and on. Read the DR section on MLC, it is actually on a link on here and then read the resource thread here. Educate yourself about what you might be dealing with.
Then, later down the road, read it again. You will know. And one thing to please keep in mind, the stages as they are broken down, do NOT follow the neat way they are typed out. They bounce back and forth, up and down, and just all over the place.
Only you can determine if it is really MLC.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
