Sad To Be Back 4 Years After The Bust

[Coach]

I have to discuss finances to some extent, since she is signing for an apartment in the next couple of days.

Because I violated her and that caused her to leave, I feel that in some ways I should be good to her at this point. She has been an amazing wife and put up with a lot over the years. At least part of me says I should be a caring, good guy at this time.

Purely from a legal point of view, I need to keep in mind that getting lawyers deeply involved right away could cost me tons. And...I also have to be aware that if I really make her angry or hurt her more, she could destroy me. She could have me criminally charged for the night I violated her. That is a horrible reality, but I need to accept just how awful a thing I did.

But at this point, it's not just about protecting myself, it's about doing the right thing for a woman I abused and at the same time finding a way to keep my own interests in mind.

I appreciate everything you folks tell me, but if you really think about my behaviour, I put myself where I am and need to realize I am lucky that my wife is not making things much worse.

Has she forgiven you?

Have you forgiven yourself?

Have you made changes and created awareness not to repeat your mistakes?

Sounds like you still feel guilty and it is keeping you from thinking clearly. Guilt is when you feel bad about something you have done, shame is when you think something is wrong with you as a person. We all make mistakes and have done things which we are remorseful for, the key is how do you handle things the next time a similiar situation arises.

Don't be so quick to write a blank check.

Cheers