LRT - Does it leave open for OW?

[Lucky11too]

Here's a simple rule -- that I haven't been good at keeping -- do what works and stop doing what doesn't. If you've been keeping up the daily interation and he hasn't made any moves toward reconciliation you are wasting your time. He is cake eating. He gets the attention he craves but doesn't have to recommit.

Wow! You are so right! He is so cake eating. I totally needed that slap in the face. The only thing I struggle with is that I just know how stubborn he is (from the past 9 years with him) - it seems he would rather let it fail then have to put his ego aside (and in this case, be the one to initiate contact/reconciliation). It's hard not being able to see the future to know if ignoring him will 'rekindle his love for me' or just put the nail in the casket. But like you said, he's getting all the benefits right now - attention and interaction from me while still being able to run around & do whatever he wants, while I sit here miserable. Time to try something differet! Must be strong!

So what do you think - when H does initiate contact when you're "in the dark", do you give short responses back then?

Do you truly believe you are the one for your H, then even if some OW does move in eventually it will fade and he'll come back to you. They say here it's all about confidence.

I don't know about this one. Sometime I think I'm only doing this b/c I want my S to have a family. Well, maybe S is my motivation, but I do love and care for my H and truly want our marriage to work. We are very different people, but it's often those differences that complement each other - so yes, i am the one for H. Confidence, right! =)

I agree. It’s just so hard. So often I just want an answer to where our R stands, but like you said, it just gives them a chance to reject us again b/c they are not there yet. Great job on taking care of you and protecting yourself though!