Need Help - Fast

[Gardener]

I did put my ring back on, trying to decide if that was a good move or not. Any input there?

There are as many reasons to leave it on or take it off as there are DBers. I took mine off first and early not out of spite but as a constant reminder of the brutal reality of my situation.

I do believe that once off, it should probably stay off. Anything else is either bowing to spouse's subtle (or not) reaction or being unattractively indecisive and wishy-washy.

I took my oldest child out to play some games and have ice cream (we have a close bond), although I am sure she has no idea what is really going on, she unloaded on me about how she and my son are treated when I am not there (screamed at, yelled at, etc.). She says she doesn't trust her own mother and asked me why I married her! I was speechless. Granted my daughter does favor the dramatics at times, but she begged me not to go to work on Monday so I could stay with her and her brother (they are homeschooled). But instead of being 100% dedicated to their schooling, that is the time my wife is spending on the phone with the OM so when the kids need her for something, she's not available and when they try to talk to her while shes on the phone, she explodes on them. My daughter has asked me repeatedly who she is talking to and all I can say is "its a friend".

Time to set some boundaries.

I think back to all the things I do for her, clean house, cook meals, do laundry, do the finances and this is what I get in return. I guess the fog is finally starting to clear. To top it off, she expects that I am going to just let her take my kids and walk out once she decides to go.

I did all the same things and then some. Read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. It was a frightening, dead-on eye-opener for me.

As you can tell, I am conflicted. I can be so upset with her and so ready to just send her packing, then at the same time want to hang on to whatever thread is left, both for me and my kids.

All I can see is you're normal. I'd read some of Gucci's and Puppy's posts. It may be time for some boundaries re: "This will stop or you will leave"

I feel like I am going crazy. Thank you for enduring my roller coaster of emotions this morning.

You're welcome. The important thing is that you hang on and endure it. For your kids as well as yourself.

Good luck