Detachment

[Gardener]

SP,

[How do you do it, this detaching? By doing it. There's no recipe, there's no procedure, there's no magic bullet. But you can't fake it. You can't pretend. You have to do it, deliberately and consciously.

You have to accept that you're already dead. That you have no control. That there is no logic, no argument, no plea, no justification, no photograph, no memory, no rationalization, no prayer, no wish, no hope big enough, strong enough, persuasive enough, enough enough, to deter Walkaway.

And you have to live it. You have the Walk That Path every minute, every day. When you feel yourself drifting, you have to consciously bring yourself back. Put away the photographs, Left-Behind. Put away the love notes. Stop idealizing her. Stop idealizing him. There are, in fact, other fish in the sea -- you know it as well as you know yourself. You may not want them, not now, but you know this to be true.

It doesn't mean you didn't/don't love Walkaway. It doesn't mean you didn't/don't cherish your marriage, value your marriage, desire your marriage. It doesn't mean you didn't/don't believe in the institution.

It means you love, cherish, value, desire, believe in...yourself.

Thank you for this entire post. I could quote it all, but I'll probably be printing this section and carrying it around (if not framing it).