Hey Jiji. I don't know if she does or not with regards to the thoughts. She has said it a couple times. For example, we were talking about something I don't remember and she said "I can't take much more of this stuff, I will leave you the house the kids and cats and stay gone and you can raise them since they like you more or I can just kill myself. I can' take this." I don't know. To be honest, I can see her crashing and burning soon. With all the stuff going on and lack of support from her family, she will be in a bad way. If she lets this thing go, I won't be as willing to come to her rescue. Sad but true. I will have to look out for myself. This reminds me of days past when she was in this way. She would have panic attacks and such when she had time to sit and think about things. This may happen again and this may be the reason why she's trying to do everything under the sun to stay busy.
At this point considering the way I feel about her today, I don't care what she does for Thanksgiving. Go stay come whatever. I won't have my Thanksgiving ruined by her flip flop. I hate to say it, but this is my time to enjoy myself. If things continue, I may as well get used to things without her anyway. That's how I feel today.
As far as the erotic fiction, my printer is down and I won't go get ink for hers so she suggested I send it to her at work. Probably so she can run it off and show the girls in the office like I'm sure she did with my letter. It's not raunchy per se. Body parts are identified by text book names. Actions well..... I told her open and print it at her own risk. We'll see. As you can tell by my tone, I'm not happy with her today. I guess I'll get over it. My thoughts on things are much different than hers. She's black or white, I'm shades of gray. My horoscope was close to what's going on today. Not that I believe that stuff but they have been on for the past few months. Maybe I should listen. Check it out
You feel things on a much deeper level than most people, which makes it difficult for them to see where you're coming from -- and vice versa. You may want to keep your feelings to yourself as much as possible -- trying to explain yourself will probably be much more trouble than it's actually worth. Your closest personal relationships could be adversely affected by the way you view the world right now. However, your brooding mood won't last long, and the effect of it on others will soon wear off as well.
