Quote: Hi Blackie I think you should stay at home with the w if your relatives are not going to be nice to her. If you think they will be OK then speak to them first and tell her they wanted her to come to see if you can convince her. Without invading her privacy perhaps you could mention that she is not well and you don't want her to be upset. But you should not leave her alone especially with the medical issues hanging over her head. Even tho you have been thru some tough times recently she should still come first with regards to your family. That might be something which will show her how much you care.
I'm sorry to hear about her health probs that must be really hard for her. You should try to have a talk about it and tell her you will be there for her and not to worry.
Good advice Jiji. The problem may have solved itself. My bro said bring her along and they will be nice to her. For me. This time last year, he thought the world of her. Earlier this year when I was ready to walk, he talked me down and helped me realize I didn't want to do that. He now feels bad for doing that. He doesn't hate her or really dislikes her he says, he says he's dissapointed and hurt. My mom says she doesn't hate her or dislike her either. She said we're both childish and could work things out if we knew how to and got help.
Anyway, her brother was to come up here to be with her over the holiday but something came up where he will be house sitting for a friend. He's bummed, she's bummed. They're kind of friend/brother/sister as me an my brother are. Well, he threw a bug in her ear to come down to Florida to stay with him. She's trying to twist money around to find the cash to go down there. Most likely she will. I think it's silly. But when we were a squad, I couldn't/wouldn't talk her out of such a silly mission, I have no pull now. At least I don't think I do. Her mom is worried that she will go down there and do something "silly." While she didn't elaborate on what silly was, W thinks she meant kill herself. If this makes her happy, fine but I think it's silly as her money is tight as a drum anyway.
Back a month or so ago, I think I told the group of her breast problem. I was the one who discovered it during our last session in August. I sometimes feel she blames me for that. I told her before her first appointment in October I was there for her. If not as a hubby, then a friend. At that time, she said she didn't want to talk to me about it. I took it bad and the wrong way. She said she wouldn't want to talk to me about it right away if things were good. She needed to get things right in her head. I can dig that. I worry that if she keeps on the D train, who will watch out for her? Those new friends of hers won't. The kids can't. Who will?
Did I tell you your moniker was W's nephew's pet name for her? I think I did. Any rate, she's happy today, we get the little man for most of the day. That kind of relieves me of making big Sunday dinner as usual. W wanted chili anyway so that's what I'll make
Update.
Not much happened over the weekend. It wasn't the earth shattering report I wanted to make. I guess the fact that we were able to have civil talk and watch tv together albeit on different couches is a plus. W started D & R talk today. Not much. She told me how she hopes I learned something from all this that may help in the future for me with someone else. She then said she told me exactly what she wanted. I told her looking back, I take most the blame for not hearing her but her needs were masked in nags and insults. Therefore, they didn't get through. She thought on it and said I was right. We then talked about a family member who is carrying on with a separated woman who I think is coming back to her man. She was wondering how that could happen if the lady felt the connection was gone. I quoted from the book, "love is a decision, not a feeling." I told her when I was thinking of leaving her, I decided that I did love her and the feeling came back. She looked at me and asked did I believe that. Not in a smart azz tone or anything like that. But she was thinking on what I said I could tell. This woman is more on the edge than she thinks. This is from my gut/heart. She wants to be able to stay. I know guys, I need to show her in a big way. I'm working on it. We then talked about trusting anyone in the future and she had to tell me how some guy asked her out. I don't know why she has to tell me this stuff. I don't tell her when some dame on the job comes up and tells me she wants to do more than go out with me. Well during this conversation, she asked me what else would I be doing today. I ran down the rest of my honey do list and then told her I was finishing a porn story I was writing. I've dabbled in porn stories over the last year or so as a release. Fantasy stuff. In the past few months, the fantasy stuff is about her. I told her that. She told me in a semi joking manner that she wants to read it when it was done. Should I let her read this stuff? Why does she want to read it and will she keep reading it like I think she is still reading my letter?
