Dang...Typed a long reply last night and it didn't post.
OW-Kind of out of the picture. After a big fallout in Feb that included physical harm to my wife...they stopped talking. Now they talk a little and the OW has a BF that she is head of tails in love with (Wife doesn't like that too much...is hurt OW never felt that for her)
Guy Friend-Disappeared after wife mentioned that I mentioned she was having an EA with him. Wife is miffed that he just stopped talking to her for the most part.
Then there are a few other little relationships that I am unsure completely what unfolded though I don't think they turned into affairs.
Her therapists has diagnosed her with Adult attachment disorder;
""Unresolved childhood attachment issues leave an adult vulnerable to difficulties in forming secure adult relationships. Patterns of attachment continue through the life cycle and across generations. New relations are affected by the expectations developed in past relationships. There is a strong correlation between insecure adult attachment and marital dissatisfaction and negative marital interactions. If an adult does not feel safe with others, he/she will tend to be either rejecting of their partner or overly clingy."
A lot of early childhood causes for this disease are apparent in my wife's childhood. She is also very clingy and needy during a relationship. What she herself mentioned might have happened with us....Is that when I started working 60-70 hours a week, she lost security in the relationship and her ability to be clingy. So she moved to somebody else who was available for her to be clingy to. Then she moved from that relationship to the EA...so this constant need for some one to be clingy to, combined with a boredom and hate of being at home is a tough hurdle. No wonder why I had always tended to be very affectionate in our marriage and dating...it was what she wanted and needed. She had stated it once in a letter...I had loved her more than anybody else including her family....now the reason for that statement really becomes clear.
Based on what I have read...I feel it might be very tough to save the marriage. Before we can make steps in that direction, I think my wife will once again have to feel secure with me...not just on a relationship level, but also financially, parenting, work, etc.....almost like dating again if she ever wants that.
Pretty freaky stuff and just another reason that divorce may cause damages later in life.
