Ayk....Should I just give you a 2x4 to beat yourself with. Seriously....everyone on here has recommended that you cease these conversations with your wife, yet you still feel compulsed too do it. You need to listen to them....Any relationship conversation that you suggest or start will be pure garbage...I mean just pure garbage. By you suggesting/asking for the conversation you have placed her in a corner and the evil spew will achieve nothing is what will come out. Good conversation with an MLC are initiated by them period. When it happens they will feel safe and comfortable enough to really share their true feelings....anything less than them starting the conversation themselves is no good. When you can finally practice self-control and wait for her to start one of these conversations you will be amazed at how different the conversation is.
If you want to make a last ditch effort...follow the advice of Jack and the others to the letter. That will be a true last ditch effort for you. Last ditch efforts usually involve the most energy and pain. In your case talking with your wife about the situation is much easier than not talking about it....take the harder path and close the mouth. She will talk eventually....it just has to be on her terms not yours.
For your clarity AYK, MLC is technically not a psychological accepted problem. Some therapists will not even bring it up since the psyche profession has not endorsed it as a disease. I almost have to agree....it is more of distinctive pattern of behavior. Depression is very entwined within this pattern and is a common diagnosis. By bringing it up to your wife, you are almost saying "You are broken wife and I am better than your therapist because I know what is wrong". How would you take that from somebody you hate at the moment? Not very constructively and at a minimum think "F*** you".
So let's do a finally last ditch effort evaluation:
1-You initiated a conversation she didn't want 2-She responded predictably negative 3-You alienated her by bring up your OPINION (which she doesn't want to hear) 4-You disagreed with her therapist's diagnosis (Who she trusts more than you) 5-You didn't follow anybodies suggestions 6-You caused yourself unneeded grieve.
