Blackie I will ask Corri to send along a can of WHOMPASS to your W.
Don't give up now you are doing OK. I think you should think about starting a new thread in the newcomers section as perhaps you need more advice on your DBing. Don't worry I will come bother you on there if you do.
Ps have a look at the website on Corri's link re sexual aversion it has a lot more about marriages which is interesting.
