Hey Sweetie! Sorry I got a little behind in posting, but have caught up on the thread now. I want you to stop being so hard on yourself, okay? Every parent has snapped at their kids. You are just human and you have a lot on you right now. Stop beating yourself to death. I remember the first time I apologized to my child. It was so hard b/c I grew up in a different era where parents didn't apologized to their children. I suppose they thought it was a sign of weakness and that the kids wouldn't respect them after that. But, I found out that was not the way to think......and I did apologize to my child (and can't even remember what it was, but I think I snapped at her)however, I remember how she responded. She was so "forgiving".....and your S will be also. I really believe it allows them to see that we are just human beings and trying our best to raise them up right.
I hope you can finally come to terms about your WAW and just have peace in your life. You may have to think of her as almost being like a child b/c in many ways...that is how she sounds to me. If you could think of her in that way...it may prevent you from getting so stressed when she acts whacky!
You will eventually make friends and build up your social life, but you have spent every waking moment thinking about your boys and trying to have contact with them. That is good, but you also need adult friends.
I can't imagine living or working in such a big city! I hope you can get your "grove on" to get your furniture, etc.
I believe a lot of what you feel is natural b/c it is like all the turmoil has caught up with you.....and your body & mind is exhausted. You've been through so much! Don't be surprised to see things turning around and good things happening soon. Your attitude seems to be at the right place now, where you will be able to move on and enjoy what life has to offer you. I agree with your cousin. Treasure the good things from you MR and don't hold on to the bad stuff. You are going to make way for a brand new life now.....so get ready!
Talk to you later, Mom
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
